


Makes Us Feel Alive

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, iridae, violent acts but not violently written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22994776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jaebum knows it’s not exactly normal, the way they live, but he thinks it's enough. They have everything they need in each other, and in the end that's all that matters.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Kudos: 3





	Makes Us Feel Alive

  


  
Snow is piled high on either side of the road as they drive; great walls of pure white that surround them, hide them from the rest of the world’s prying eyes.  
  
It’s perfect.  
  
Jinyoung stretches out in the passenger seat with his feet up on the dashboard, body all bundled up in a thick winter coat, wooly scarf covering his nose and Jaebum’s beanie pulled down low to keep Jinyoung’s ears warm. Jaebum’s not so lucky, since as the designated driver of their little pair he can’t relax like Jinyoung does: Jaebum has to stay upright and alert, eyes on the whiteness outside as Jinyoung dozes off beside him. They could switch, of course - Jinyoung does know how to drive - but Jaebum doesn’t mind being behind the wheel. Jinyoung looks cute like this, anyway.  
  
Jinyoung’s cute all the time.  
  
Jaebum can’t deny that his mind does tend to wander when they’re like this, though. They don’t have the radio turned on, so whenever Jinyoung isn’t talking to him Jaebum has nothing but the gentle rumble of the truck’s engine to concentrate on, and that gets boring after a while.  
  
So Jaebum turns to the outside world for inspiration, gazes over the snowy landscape surrounding them (at least, what he can see of it from here) and just allows random thoughts to pop into his head. Sometimes he voices them, too, which is what he does now, taking advantage of the moments Jinyoung wakes up in order to shift into a more comfortable position on the seat.  
  
“The snow’s really piled high around here,” Jaebum comments nonchalantly, “can you just imagine how many bodies we could bury in that…?”  
  
That wakes Jinyoung right up, of course, and Jaebum forces himself not to laugh at the way Jinyoung’s head snaps around to stare at him. After a second, though, he seems to realise that Jaebum’s only joking and Jinyoung rolls his eyes with a little laugh. “Oh my god, don’t start. We’re not even out of the city yet!”  
  
Jaebum laughs out loud at that, big and carefree and happy. “What’s that got to do with anything?!”  
  
“It’s too soon for you to start talking crazy!” Jinyoung teases, pushing his foot into Jaebum’s shoulder as hard as he can without causing pain. “Wait a little while, at least.”  
  
“You wait to start sleeping, then!” Jaebum complains, only half serious. “You can’t just expect me to entertain myself the minute we start driving, that’s not fair.”  
  
Jinyoung snorts. “You should have thought about that before you kept me up all night, then! Couldn’t even have waited ‘til morning…”  
  
Jaebum just shrugs that off; he knows Jinyoung doesn’t _really_ mind. “What can I say? I get urges. Gotta scratch the itch, it can’t wait. You know what I mean.”  
  
“You’re a menace,” Jinyoung informs him simply, and Jaebum isn’t looking but he knows Jinyoung is rolling his eyes.  
  
But Jaebum only grins as a new thought occurs to him. “Hey, d’you think anyone saw us?”  
  
“Nah. They’d have called the cops on us if they did.”  
  
“Police dogs and helicopters,” Jaebum says, something incredibly smug about his tone. Jinyoung hums his agreement beside him, and Jaebum continues, “Imagine if someone did call the cops, though? Like, imagine if we were being tracked _right now_. That’d be such a thrill, right?”  
  
Jinyoung just scoffs, shaking his head as if to say ‘ _what am I going to do with you?_ ’ “You’re so weird.”  
  
“Don’t pretend you don’t love it,” Jaebum retorts cheekily, and when he glances to the side he sees Jinyoung hiding a little smile.  
  
Jaebum knows it’s not exactly normal, the way they live; driving all over the country, over the _continent_ , only ever stopping for fuel or when it’s absolutely necessary. This truck is their home, they eat and sleep here and they’re happy that way; everything else they could ever need from the world is already in each other. And Jaebum thinks that’s enough. All these people with all their material things, leading meaningless lives full of sadness and aridity, seem simply ridiculous to Jaebum. What worth can they possibly see in their existence? The same old thing day after day…  
  
Jinyoung and Jaebum aren’t like that. Never have been, never will. And it may be unorthodox, what they do, but Jaebum doesn’t care: it makes them feel alive. And that’s all that really matters, in the end.  
  
“Either way,” Jinyoung mutters after a short while, “I don’t think we’ll be welcomed back to _that_ motel any time soon.” Then Jaebum bursts out laughing, and Jinyoung grins over at him, and they intertwine their gloved fingers on the dashboard as they drive on.  
  
  
  
  
They pass very few cars on the road. They’re not sure where exactly they are on the map (they stopped keeping track a long time ago, because it feels like more of an adventure that way. Plus, Jaebum’s of the opinion that if he and Jinyoung don’t even know where they are it’ll only be that much harder for the rest of the world to find them) but they assume it’s somewhere rural because there’d be more people otherwise.  
  
There’s something a little disappointing about the emptiness here, Jaebum thinks, but he doesn’t say anything.  
  
“Should we put some music on?” Jinyoung offers suddenly, and Jaebum looks over at him. Jinyoung’s still wrapped up in the same way he has been since they set off from the motel a day or two ago, but now he’s curled up on the seat so that his back’s against the door and he’s facing Jaebum. He must be getting bored.  
  
“Not the radio.” Is all Jaebum tells him in response.  
  
Jinyoung rolls his eyes at what he clearly thinks is a stupid thing to say. “Obviously. Where are your CDs, in the back?”  
  
“Yeah, green rucksack.”  
  
Jinyoung nods and takes off his seatbelt, clambering between the two front seats into the messy space behind. Jaebum glances back as he does so, watching Jinyoung’s movements anxiously. “Hey, be careful. Don’t step on the stuff-”  
  
“I know, calm down!” Jinyoung complains exasperatedly.  
  
They have this conversation every time he starts messing around back there, it seems, but Jaebum can’t help being cautious. It’s not like they can easily find replacements out here if anything happens to any of their stuff. But he knows from experience that pointing that out will only serve to piss Jinyoung off, so Jaebum simply hopes for the best and watches in the rear view mirror for any impending disasters.  
  
Jinyoung soon locates the green rucksack (less green now since it got covered in some horrible, reddish-brown, rusty-looking stuff during one of their adventures months ago) and opens it to reveal an impressive collection of old CDs. Jaebum knows they’re behind the times on this - an iPod would be much easier to carry around with them, and could hold more music too - but he doesn’t care. Jaebum enjoys the more physical pleasures in life, and he prefers holding his music in his own two hands rather than trusting that it’s safe inside some digital library.  
  
Jinyoung calls out a few titles from the collection that he’d like to listen to and clambers back into the passenger seat with his hands full of the ones Jaebum agreed to. “We need to stop for gas next chance we get, remember. We emptied our last can this morning.”  
  
“I’m on it,” Jaebum assures him, watching as Jinyoung opens the first CD case and fires up the old truck’s stereo system. “One petrol station, coming right up.”  
  
  
  
  
  
It takes a while for a petrol station to show up, but luckily it appears before they run out of gas completely. There aren’t any other customers here, either, which means that they can get in and do what they need to do without any issues. Perfect.  
  
They have eight cans all piled up in the back of the truck, so Jinyoung and Jaebum have to take up two pumps in order to fill them faster. Once that’s done, Jinyoung heads inside the little station shop to pick up some snacks and extra drink stores while Jaebum fills the truck. This all racks up a huge bill, of course, but they never worry about that stuff; it all works out in the end.  
  
When Jaebum enters the little shop, it’s to find that Jinyoung has made friends with the little old lady in charge of it. She’s an odd person, Jaebum thinks - more like a caricature than an actual human being, since Jaebum is sure no one _real_ could be so happy or smile so much. He eventually reasons that she’s probably just pleased about the enormous amount of money they’ll have to pay for all the gas they’ve gotten -- as well as whatever Jinyoung’s buying now. Jaebum represses a sigh.  
  
“Oh! Is this your boyfriend?” the lady giggles excitedly as Jaebum enters and Jinyoung smiles at her like he thinks it’s cute.  
  
“My partner,” Jinyoung corrects her, but the lady isn’t listening. She’s bustling over to greet Jaebum, grabs his hand to shake and misses the look of distaste he shoots at Jinyoung, who just smiles sweetly in response. Ruthless.  
  
“Where are you going to, then, in this horrible weather?” the woman asks then, leading Jaebum over to the cash desk. “A romantic getaway somewhere?”  
  
Jaebum puts on a pleasant face to be polite and shakes his head. “Ah, no. I can’t tell you - it’s a surprise!”  
  
“Ooh, I understand,” the lady winks conspiratorially and Jaebum forces a little laugh. Maybe she is kind of cute, he supposes, but that still doesn’t change anything. He doesn’t have to pretend to like her for much longer, anyway, since she swiftly moves onto the subject of payment for their petrol.  
  
Jaebum reaches into his pockets only to find them empty - he pats himself down quickly, as well, but comes up with nothing. Putting on a groan at his own stupidity, he turns to where Jinyoung is inspecting the Pepsi bottles lined up in the fridge. “Babe, you got anything on you? I’ve left everything in the truck.”  
  
“Aw, typical!” the woman laughs good-naturedly as Jinyoung heaves an exaggerated sigh and reaches for his back pocket, the movement slow and precise like a cat’s, drawn out as if there’s something he-  
  
Suddenly there’s a noise from outside that causes Jinyoung to stop, frozen in place for a short moment. Jaebum turns immediately to see what’s going on and finds that another customer has just pulled their car up to one of the free pumps outside.  
  
How unexpected.  
  
“Oh look, someone else caught in the cold!” Jinyoung exclaims and the woman laughs. When Jaebum turns back to look at him again, Jinyoung’s got both hands back in the fridge like he’s just spotted something he’s desperate to get. Apparently he’s forgotten about paying this woman completely.  
  
Jaebum turns away. He looks at the old lady. “I think my wallet’s in the truck, do you mind if I…?”  
  
“Oh no, go ahead! I’m not busy,” the woman smiles, and Jaebum smiles back respectfully. He then turns to leave, glancing at Jinyoung out of the corner of his eye as he goes but Jinyoung doesn’t look up from the fridge. His hands are by his sides, now; he must have changed his mind on the drinks.  
  
Jaebum walks briskly out to the truck, nodding in acknowledgement to the other car owner as he passes, and collects everything he needs from the back seat.  
  
When Jaebum and Jinyoung drive away again a few minutes later, it’s with their truck fully restocked. Now they not only have plenty of petrol, but they’ve gotten themselves mountains of snacks and drinks for the trip. The other car is still parked in the station, but the owner isn’t with it and they don’t see another living thing as they leave the lot, nor for many hours afterwards.  
  
  
  
  
“So where _are_ we going?” Jinyoung asks later, as the sun is starting to set but it’s still light enough to get away with keeping the headlights off. Jinyoung is turned half towards Jaebum, looking out of the window mostly but every now and then he’ll glance over at the man beside him. “Like, when this ends? We’ve got to stop somewhere.”  
  
Jaebum screws his nose up at the very idea of it. “Who says?”  
  
“This truck won’t run forever, Jae.”  
  
“We can get a new one.”  
  
“Who’s gonna sell _us_ a new truck?”  
  
“I’m sure plenty of people are selling trucks-”  
  
“We’re in the middle of nowhere!”  
  
“ _This_ won’t last forever, though, will it?” Jaebum rolls his eyes, “We’ll find a city, the snow will all melt and we can start looking around for a new truck if we need one. But I don’t think we will need one, because this guy isn’t packing in any time soon. Trust me.”  
  
Jinyoung squints at him, clearly dubious. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to go along with your ideas based purely on trust? Too many.”  
  
“Have I ever let you down, though?” Jaebum shoots back.  
  
Jinyoung groans. “No, but--”  
  
“Oh,” Jaebum cuts him off suddenly, eyes fixed on something at the side of the road. Jinyoung straightens up to follow his gaze at the same time Jaebum murmurs; “Look- I think it’s a guy. He’s on his own…”  
  
There’s a hitchhiker a little way off, thumb out in a silent plea for the men to stop. Jaebum slows down automatically, but a quick glance at Jinyoung’s face stops him from coming to a full halt. Jaebum looks at Jinyoung, then the hitchhiker, then back again. He slows down a little more.  
  
“Should we stop?” Jaebum asks gently, “The snow’s still pretty deep around here.”  
  
“How’s he made it this far out?” Jinyoung questions, “Is there a town nearby?”  
  
“Maybe his car broke down,” Jaebum suggests, slowing down ever more as they draw nearer to the man. He really wants to stop, but he won’t do it without Jinyoung’s say so. “He’s probably alone.”  
  
Jinyoung looks away from the hitchhiker for a moment to meet Jaebum’s eyes for one fleeting moment. He doesn’t look convinced; eventually he just sits back with a shake of his head. “No, keep going.”  
  
Jaebum raises his eyebrows. “Really? Just leave him?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m not in the mood,” Jinyoung admits with a shrug. “Let’s stay just us two for now.”  
  
Jaebum hums in agreement, nodding wisely. “Yeah, we really don’t spend enough time together…” He’s dripping with sarcasm, but he smiles at Jinyoung’s laughter and takes the accusation of ‘ _you’re a dick_ ’ without complaint. He probably can’t argue, anyway - not considering the look on the lone hitchhiker’s face as the truck speeds up once more and cruises by without a care.  
  
  
  
  
  
Jaebum feels the itch late the next morning, when they’ve already been driving for a while and are passing road signs that indicate a village not too far ahead. He doesn’t say anything to Jinyoung because he isn’t quite sure what reaction the revelation will get right now, but it’s all he can think about as they draw nearer and nearer to this new place.  
  
There’s an unexpected stop along the way, however, in the form of a police patrol car pulled up at the side of the road. The two officers in charge of it are stood either side and flag Jaebum down with what must be an attempt at intimidating looks on their faces; Jaebum stifles his chuckle before either of the officers can spot it through the windshield, but he can’t avoid Jinyoung.  
  
Jaebum feels dark eyes flash onto the side of his face, but he doesn’t meet the gaze as he pulls up alongside the officers and hops out of the truck with a cheerful grin. “Good morning, officers! Does there seem to be a problem?”  
  
“Not just yet, sir, but we will need to do a quick search of your vehicle before you can continue,” one of the policemen says, and Jaebum notes that he seems incredibly countrified. He can’t help but wonder whether this man has ever stepped foot outside of the village in his life. “It’s just a precautionary measure, you see,” the officer continues, “there’s been some trouble around these parts recently, so we’ve just been searching people coming in and out of the village for any suspicious materials. I hope you understand.”  
  
“But of course!” Jaebum smiles accommodatingly, turning to motion Jinyoung down and out of the vehicle. Jinyoung narrows his eyes and Jaebum can tell he’s not happy, but both of the officers are watching them now: Jinyoung has no choice but to comply.  
  
The second officer steps forward then. “Have either of you gentlemen got any kind of identification on you? A driver’s license, I expect…?”  
  
“I do! It’s in the back of the truck,” Jaebum explains, motioning towards the back seat. Jinyoung’s eyes are boring into him now, but Jaebum ignores it. It’s not like Jaebum can just tell the officers ‘no’, is it? “Do you mind if I just go and…?”  
  
The first officer hesitates for a moment, then motions for Jaebum to go ahead. He gives the policeman a winning smile in return and turns to open the back door to the truck. Jaebum reaches over various bags of _stuff_ \- food supplies, drinks, CDs, clothes, blankets, etcetera - until he evidently finds what he needs.  
  
“Here it is!” Jaebum announces with glee, both for Jinyoung and the officers’ benefits. Then Jaebum backs out of the truck again, straightens up to his full height whilst facing away from the other three men around him, and in one swift movement he turns around and shoots the first officer in the chest.  
  
Everything happens very quickly after that. (It always happens quickly, after the first hit; the pair of them are very efficient.)  
  
The second officer gasps or yells or makes some kind of noise, but Jinyoung is on him before he’s even halfway through the action; knife at his throat, flick of the wrist and he’s down. Jaebum needs a little more than one shot to really _feel_ it, though, and so he pulls his trigger a good few times more before finally letting his sorry-looking victim lie.  
  
Jaebum’s hand tightens slightly around his favourite pistol as he tips his head back and lets the buzz envelope his entire body. Even after tens, hundreds of kills like these, it never gets old.  
  
Sadly Jinyoung doesn’t seem to be feeling it this time, though, since when Jaebum looks up again that same old glare is back.  
  
Jaebum just blinks at him dumbly. “What?”  
  
“You’re supposed to tell me when it’s coming,” Jinyoung hisses, “we’re supposed to decide _together_.”  
  
Jaebum pulls a face at him. “ _What_? Jinyoung- they were going to search the truck. They’d have found _all_ our stuff-- and never mind the truck, they’d have gotten your dagger straight away! What, were you _wanting_ to go to jail or something?”  
  
Jinyoung scowls, but even as he does so he’s slipping his own preferred weapon - a sleek, sharp blade - back into his pocket. “Just _tell me_ next time, okay? Then I might at least be able to have _one_ coat that’s not covered in blood like everything else!”  
  
“Occupational hazard,” Jaebum shrugs, scoffing at the middle finger Jinyoung offers in return. Jaebum then turns his attention to the two corpses at their feet, crimson red staining the road and the snow around them. “What are we doing with them?”  
  
“We’re not putting any in the truck again,” Jinyoung mutters, “not after last time.”  
  
Jaebum hums in agreement. They consider various other ways of dealing with the bodies - burn them with some of the gasoline left in the cans (“we’re out of matches”), bury them in the snow (“it’ll melt, there’s no point”) - but in the end the pair just decide to leave them as they are. Give the feds a clue, just a little bit more incentive to track them down.  
  
“It adds to the adventure, right?” Jinyoung asks with a grin. Jaebum beams back at him and feels a certain lightness inside, because he knows that this is Jinyoung’s favourite part despite all the bitching and ranting.  
  
This is it, this is the thrill they seek; the kill and the chase, the changing identities and changing places around them. But here, at the heart of it, are Jaebum and Jinyoung and the urges, the itching, the inevitable, irresistible relief…  
  
It’s not often that Jaebum gets the privilege of being able to see his work on display as they leave the crime scene - the pair of them are usually very efficient at disposing of the evidence - so he doesn’t deny himself the pleasure of watching the officers in the rear view mirror as the truck heads away, into the village. They’re still far enough outside it that it will take a while for the locals to go out and discover the bodies, and god knows when the next car is going to drive by.  
  
Once again, Jaebum thinks, everything is perfect.  
  
“That hitchhiker got off easy, huh?” Jaebum asks in a conversational tone, glancing over at Jinyoung once the officers’ bodies are out of sight. “I was worried for a minute that you’d lost your nerve.”  
  
Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “Please; I just don’t need this like you do. You and your _urges_.”  
  
“Whatever would you do without them?” Jaebum teases, and grins as Jinyoung’s responding laughter spills pure, bright light into their little blood-stained home.  
  
---


End file.
